Having to get out of bed twice every night to pee is a daily reminder of my years of ketamine addiction

From a “key” at a party to 7 to 10 grams per day

As with so many other means, it all started very innocently. A “key” (tip) to this crystal powder at a party or festival. I fell in love with it immediately: the intoxication, the dissociation, the feeling of walking on clouds and the music that resonated even more intensely throughout my body.

Of course, the fact that it's quite cheap didn't do any good. It wasn't long before I couldn't get enough of that little dot. Ketamine tolerance is developing rapidly. In the beginning, it's not that bad and there are few to no side effects. I quickly looked for an address where I could buy ketamine in large quantities, so that the price fell considerably. The dots got bigger, the spoon smaller, and the search for “the real good stuff” became almost a full-time job.

At that time, I had no idea what effects ketamine would have on my health.

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The first signs

I found out about this systematically. The earliest complaints were:

• K cramps: unbearable pain at the level of the abdomen, crawling around on the floor without knowing where to go
• Frequent urination: which later grew into running to the toilet every 5 to 10 minutes

I will never forget my first K cramp. So much that I immediately thought I had broken something very serious in my body. I have ended up in the emergency room several times, with the same complaints each time. I was honest with the doctors and told them that I was taking ketamine. From that moment on, this was in my file, and with every admission after that, the doctors knew that all complaints were due to my ketamine addiction. I never wanted to believe this.

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The urologist's warning

At my first consultation with the urologist, the message was clear: stop immediately, otherwise the consequences would be very serious. After inspection with a camera, she was already able to see the damage. I didn't believe this either. I continued to use all kinds of home remedies to alleviate symptoms, for years, with one common thread: persistent and worsening symptoms.

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The tipping point

When I first admitted to Affect2U, I visited a urologist for the tenth time. The facts were unequivocal:

• Normal bladder capacity: 600 to 700 ml
• My bladder capacity at that time: only 90 ml left
• My daily use: 7 to 10 grams of ketamine

The message: quit or walk around with a stoma at age 32 after bladder removal for the rest of my life.

After six months of clean, a 15-day relapse followed. The effects came back immediately. Affect2U was ready to help out again.

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Today

I'm 35 years old now and almost two years clean from all mind-altering drugs. I have had surgery on my bladder and I have more capacity again. However, I still have to go to the toilet every hour and get out of bed at least twice at night. A daily reminder of my years of ketamine addiction.

With this story, I want to make people aware of the effects of ketamine and other mind-altering drugs. No one makes a conscious choice to become addicted and everyone has a right to help. That is why I have now started healthcare myself as a recovery assistant.

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