I remember well how my first anxiety attack hit like a bolt from the blue.

From school anxiety to the low point

The doctor gave me a few days off. After gaining some weight, I went back to school. The anxiety was still there, but I managed to flounder through those difficult weeks.

Throughout my high school period, that pattern was repeated: exams, anxiety, family doctor.

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The anxiety grows with it

I started training as a teacher at the university. My fears went to the next level. It made me depressed.

The doctor decided to prescribe antidepressants for me. In extreme cases, I got a valium syringe.

After getting my diploma, I went to work. But I couldn't do it. The past few years had made me more exhausted and depressed. The anxiety that I used to have only at school began to seep into other areas of my daily life.

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Day treatment at the hospital

I decided to go for a day treatment in a regular hospital. My dose of antidepressants was increased and I was also prescribed benzos.

After three months, my journey was over. Although I felt better, I still didn't know where those fears came from.

The years that followed were of ups and downs, without major outliers. I had my medication that kept me on track. If the anxiety got too strong, I took an extra benzo.

According to my doctor, it was something I should take all my life.

In 2013, our first child was born. It changed my life. I became calmer and more stable. A good period began.

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New Year's Eve 2017: everything changes

Together with friends, we were ready to leave for the city, until, out of the blue, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a huge panic attack. All I could do was lie down in bed with my eyes closed, hoping it would pass.

But that was not the case.

My depression and anxiety were gaining momentum. I went down steeply:

• From one crisis shelter to another
• From one psychiatrist to another
• My medication was tinkered with dozens of times, to no avail

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The low point

The last two years have been hell. I couldn't bear my fears anymore. Even though I had two children that I love dearly, I often just wanted to die. Away from the pain.

The thought that I would be able to put an end to it gave me comfort.

My environment watched patiently, not knowing how to help.

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The call that changed everything

Via via, I received the phone number from Jan, case manager at Affect2U. One night, I decided to call him. He immediately made me feel at ease and told me that he had also been in a bad way.

I felt his authenticity over the phone.

I went for a recording.

The first night, I didn't sleep. I was afraid that I had made the wrong decision, that the clinic was not for me. The people there convinced me to stay and give it a chance.

I decided to stay: the best decision of my life.

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What Makes Affect2U Different

Where regular care kept adjusting or increasing my medication, I had to reduce this and finally stop. Then we set out to find out where my fears came from.

The counselors taught me:

• acknowledging my own part in my fears
• to accept what I couldn't change
• to be thankful and keep things simple
• to look at my fears with love, so they gradually lost all their strength

Where I always thought that some pill could fix me, I came to the realization that only I could do that.

Unlike all healthcare providers I had met so far, I now came into contact with people who had gotten their knowledge not only from books, but also directly from their own lives.

That's what makes them so special, out of category.

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